I haven't written anything here for a long time. You may think it's because I'm struggling, but actually just the opposite is true. When I stop and consider my life, with all its ups and downs, I find that not only am I happy, but I am thriving!
Sammy's death has given me such a new perspective. I look at things in a whole new light. And it has become so much easier to dismiss things that aren't important and to fight for the things that are. Maybe the very best thing that has come from losing Sammy is how I am raising her sisters. The question I am constantly asking myself is, "If I were to lose her tonight, would I have wished I had done things differently?" I ask myself this when they ask for a Popsicle, when they want to set up the pool or go to the park, when they want me to lay next to them for just one more minute or read just one more story. Because in the grand scheme of things, what does it hurt to have an extra treat? What does it hurt to take 10 minutes to set up the pool? What does it hurt to get in extra snuggles with the ones I love the most? The answer is it hurts nothing. It only makes life more enjoyable and full of love.
Sammy has given her sisters the most amazing gift. She has given them a more attentive, a more thoughtful, a more loving mother.
