Miss Independent

I've noticed something about blogging. When I used to post something every day, it was easy to find things to blog about. But when I don't post anything for a while, I have a really hard time thinking of something that I want to say or thinking of things that I deem blog worthy. Does this happen to anyone else, or is it just me?

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Makayla is in an interesting stage. She is on the fence between wanting to declare her independence and wanting me by her side for everything. And it's a day to day thing. Sometimes an hour to hour thing. I first noticed it about six months ago. It started with little things: picking out her own clothes, zipping up her own jacket, pouring her own drink.

But her need for more independence has increased dramatically since she started kindergarten last month. I've been taking it in stride for the most part. Obviously there are some things I will not let her do on her own, but I try to allow her as much freedom as I am comfortable with. It's sad to see my little girl grow up, but at the same time it's really handy that she can do so much by herself.

The one that got me, though, happened earlier this week. On Monday morning, we were running soooo behind. I tossed all the kids in the car to drive Makayla to school. --Yes, we were so late that we didn't have the time to walk 1 block to school. It was actually faster to load three kids in car seats and drive over. How sad is that?!-- Anyway, I pulled up to the front doors of the school. I asked Makayla if she thought she could get to her class by herself. She hesitated, but said, "Yeah!"

She hopped out of the car and ran 10 steps. She turned around and waved. She ran another 10 steps and turned around again to make sure I was watching her. I rolled down the window and hollered at her to run to class. She ran the rest of the way to the front doors and turned around one more time. With a big smile and an air-blown kiss, she disappeared behind the door.

The next morning we were actually on time. But regardless of our punctual arrival at the school, Makayla did not want me to take her to class. She said to me in the car, "Mom, you can just stay in the car. I can go all by myself." I knew she could. I watched her do it the day before. But it kind of broke my heart a little bit watching her run to the school without once turning around to wave. For a minute it felt like she didn't need me anymore.

The longer Makayla is in kindergarten, the more she realizes just how much she can do on her own. She has to--the teacher has 20 other kids to help. She can't give one-on-one attention to Makayla all day. So while it's nice that she is becoming so independent, I'm still just a little sad to watch my baby grown up.

I think I had that same cheesy grin in my kindergarten picture.