The Not-So-Glamorous Side of Motherhood

My blog is titled "Finding Joy in My Journey" because I didn't want this to turn into a place where I vent my anger all the time. I wanted it to be a place where I could record the milestones of my children and reflect on the good things in life. I was hoping the title would remind me of that when I sat down to write new posts. I feel, for the most part, that I've been able to do that. (I am definitely not counting the last few days of binky withdrawal.) But let's face it--not every day is peachy. There are days when things don't go as planned, and life is just plain hard.

Today would be one of those days for me. It's a day where I'm having a hard time finding the joy in motherhood.

Yesterday was a day crammed with dentist appointments, shopping, and traveling. Things went well at the dentist (Yay Makayla for having no cavities!) and the shopping was really a lot of fun. But because we had to travel several hours to do our big city shopping, it was after midnight when we got home and in bed. I was so hoping that the girls would sleep in till 7:30 or dare I dream? 8:00?

That was not to be so. Just after 6am I heard some whimpering coming from the girls' room. Then a minute later I heard an explosion of vomit happening. I got up to see whose sheets I would be washing. Ellie's! Except it wasn't just sheets that I had to wash. There was some major projectile vomiting happening! Gross!

After quickly assessing the situation, I scooped up Ellie and tossed her in the tub to contain the mess all over her. Then I moved Makayla from her bed to my bed so that I could turn on the light to see just how bad the damage was. Oh, let me tell you--it was BAD!!! (Because projectile vomit is never, ever good.)

I cleaned up Ellie and made her comfortable on the floor in her room before I stripped her bed and started wiping puke off walls, toys, floor, and dresser. More puking. In fact, the puking lasted for a good 5 hours. Just when I thought she was okay, she would puke again.

And then the pooping started. All I'm going to say about that is I'm so glad we haven't really started the potty training yet. Diarrhea and panties are not my favorite combination.

When nap time rolled around, I was so tired that I just wanted to give her a bink so she would settle down quickly and get some rest. But I was strong and resisted the urge. I didn't really want to undo my previous 3 days of work with that. And it turns out that she only fussed for 5 or so minutes. Hooray! At least we are making some progress there.

So now, it's 3 o'clock. Ellie has gone through 5 outfits. I've gone through 3 outfits. And Kasey has gone through 2 or 3 outfits. I've washed Ellie's bedding, Makayla's bedding, and my bedding because Ellie somehow managed to puke on every one's bed today. I've been washing and sanitizing everything that Ellie touches. Oh! And since she refuses to puke in the toilet or a garbage pail, I've been following her around with dish towels so she pukes on something that can be washed instead of all over my carpet. My 7th load of laundry is in the washer. And if things continue this way after nap time, I'm sure I'll see my 9th or 10th load today.

I'm so far beyond tired. I'm physically exhausted and emotionally drained. I just want to sit and have myself a good cry and a really long nap. But unfortunately, moms don't get that luxury when their kids are sick. So I'll pick myself up and finish everything that needs to be done today. And maybe tomorrow, I'll be able to find some joy in this life I've chosen.